I explained that I would try to absorb his teaching over the next few weeks, and contact him when I was ready to resume. I never did. I was disappointed with my attempt, full of self doubt. Was I too old to learn this difficult language? Should I simply give up? These and other similar questions came to mind. But maybe one of those "inner" voices was trying to reach me. "Keep trying," it seemed to say.

I decided to stop taking the CRI shuttle bus, not because of seeing the same foreign experts each day, but reasoned that if I used public transport, perhaps I could absorb better the sounds of the chattering Beijingers and maybe tune my ear to their changing tones. It was time to attempt the buses again. Surely I wouldn't repeat my Tian'anmen Square fiasco.

The next day I left my apartment at the Friendship Hotel, with instructions on how to catch a 717 bus to Muxidi, then the subway to Babaoshan where CRI is located. Getting aboard was an experience. I just allowed myself to be pushed by the human mass behind me.

This was peak hour and I had entered a whole new world. Unlike the CRI shuttle, this public bus was filled not only with a cacophony of voices, but people packed like a tin of sardines. I nearly lost my balance as I reached for the handrail, but with no room to move, there was little chance of falling over.

But how could I reach the conductor to pay my fare? More to the point, I wondered, how could she reach me and the other new passengers. It was fascinating to watch as she squeezed her way along.

I looked and I listened. As the conductor approached, I said "Muxidi" to which she responded something like "ee kwai." I panicked, and stared into my wallet, taking up precious seconds of her time collecting fares. Someone next to me looked at my handful of renminbi and pulled out a 1 yuan (17 Australian cents) note. I had forgotten even the most basic words.

The helpful passenger stood next to me and made sure I got off safely at Muxidi. At which point, the others probably breathed a collective sigh of relief. The subway train came and I got off at Babaoshan, my mission completed. I had done it.